“The thoughts, entries and poems in this book are meant to help convey the feelings associated with a man at war. In a time of political, social and economic change at home and abroad it becomes easy to lose oneself quickly in the desire to forget – to ignore – to not care – to stay numb. Sometimes it’s just easier that way. Because long after we are gone the pain and sacrifice endured will linger here. It will be in the air, in the soil, and in these pages.” -Note scribbled in the journal I first began writing poetry in, during lull’s in The Surge 2007
There is no easy way to put it – sometimes everything just plain sucks. Some days are great, but some days are fucking shit; that’s life for the Veteran with PTSD (or PTS as it apparently is called now). Yeah I go to work and seem pretty normal but when you get in those ruts, hit those cycles of down – people don’t understand why. I found that jotting down my thoughts and feelings [difficult to get in touch with at first] over time gave me something meaningful to do during those ruts and cycles. ‘If not write for me, then write for the guys – tell their story’ I thought. And I owe that to them. It brought up memories that sometimes felt better left buried. But those were my memories regardless of how shitty they were. I earned them.
So these thoughts and prose are my homage to my men – all the men – and to let people who have little understanding of who we are, and what we do, know just exactly how it was then; and remind them that this is how it is, now.