Addiction (part 2)

Continued from Additcton (Part 1)

We had already got our fix that day.
An overdose perhaps,
But that did not stop
Them from providing more;
Nor us from enduring it.

Coming down, after several
Hours-in, we were rolling home
When that fireball erupted
Brilliantly; a cacophony of
Crackles, roars, screams, and the
Sound that’s made when the life
Is sucked right out of the
People around you.

I felt the heat from
The blast wash over me;
And as the plunger fell
And the high ensued
I reacted automatically.

The .50 roared above my head;
The broken air, shattered
By its bullets, visibly pulsed
Around me with the sick
Rhythm of my racing heart.

In slow motion I saw my target as
He turned to run.

The panorama
Of the world around us erupting in tiny
Puffs of gray as bullets raked
The street, the walls, the houses
The everything; He looked surprised.

He tried to run, but oddly danced
Like some marionette with twisted
Strings, now unwound by my right thumb
Making two quick motions on the
Selector switch; Click. Click.

And for the first and only time,
Regardless of the battles we’d had
And lead we’d traded under dire circumstance
I put my weapon on burst, and
Emptied my magazine into
That poor gentleman whose grotesque dance
Entertained me while I was high.

My men were dying around me,
And as quixotic rage rose within, I changed –
Engrossed in it. Immersed in it.
Sick with it. Sad that deep
Down, somewhere hidden inside
Of me, I enjoyed it. Ashamed of it;
A junkie.


Photo Credit: 1-24 Infantry

About anotherwarriorpoet

Mathew Bocian served as a Captain in the United States Army with the Stryker Brigade and was deployed to Mosul and Tal'Afar in 2004 - 2005, and to Baghdad for The Surge in 2007 - 2008. He left the Army in 2012 and now uses his poetry as a way to heal from the traumas of war, while attempting to express to readers the realities of war. He is the recipient of the Bronze Star and Purple Heart, and holds a master's from the Graduate School for Public and International Affairs at the University of Pittsburgh.
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2 Responses to Addiction (part 2)

  1. The rush, the red mist. Exhilarating isn’t it.
    It took afterwards to lose that.
    When you have a tally man, passion leaves the stage.
    Price per ear makes for calculation not rage or passion..
    And the reason why I lost my soul.


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