Addiction (part 1)

You never knew you
Needed it until they gave
It to you.

Young and naive
Maybe you might have dreamt of it;
Pretended it.

You might have asked for it;
Sought it, prayed for it
Imagined it, feared it.
But when it comes
The rush is beyond belief.

You never quite get as high
As that very first time.;
Hell, I don’t know, maybe
You do – but you
Still chase it anyways.

The combat high;
My drug of choice.
Like the junkie plunging the
Needle into his vein,
You know this will kill you
But you do it anyway.

You need it.
You hate it, but you need it;
To get it you’ll do stupid
Things that bend beyond
The thin gray line between
Heroic and unsafe.

Crazy they say – no.
A medal seeker perhaps,
A psychopath, absolutely mental
Anyone who’d ask for that, but
No – you don’t want or
Ask for it; you simply need it.

And if you don’t yet,
It’ll come to you anyways.


About anotherwarriorpoet

Mathew Bocian served as a Captain in the United States Army with the Stryker Brigade and was deployed to Mosul and Tal'Afar in 2004 - 2005, and to Baghdad for The Surge in 2007 - 2008. He left the Army in 2012 and now uses his poetry as a way to heal from the traumas of war, while attempting to express to readers the realities of war. He is the recipient of the Bronze Star and Purple Heart, and holds a master's from the Graduate School for Public and International Affairs at the University of Pittsburgh.
This entry was posted in War Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Addiction (part 1)

  1. robakers says:

    You said it well my brother…hours of sheer boredom…minutes of sheer terror and memories to last a lifetime.

    Happy Veteran’s Day



  2. Pingback: Addiction (part 2) | The Ghosts of Tal'Afar

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s