With an intense hatred

We loathe this place,

Twistedly-loving bits and

Pieces – but hating it overall.

Yet when we come home the

One thought on your mind is

How can I return?

The war becomes a thing;

A new part of your life that

You never know you couldn’t

Live without until it was gone.

A place where despite

Such complexities and

Complication, everything was simple.

A constant rumination of that one

Thought: the needle to junkie, the

Pill to the pill-popper, the bottle to

The alcoholic, the casino to

The gambler. The new dominating

Force in your life.

It ruins marriages, it destroys piece

Of mind and sanity, it is a slow suicide

And yet, some volunteer for it straight-

Away; others re-enlist knowing they

Will return. We all secretly long to

Get back – “If I was there I could…”

“If I don’t go back, it will be someone

else less-experienced who…”

“I can make a difference.”

“They need me there because…”
“They need me…”

They need me.
Welcome to your new obsession.

About anotherwarriorpoet

Mathew Bocian served as a Captain in the United States Army with the Stryker Brigade and was deployed to Mosul and Tal'Afar in 2004 - 2005, and to Baghdad for The Surge in 2007 - 2008. He left the Army in 2012 and now uses his poetry as a way to heal from the traumas of war, while attempting to express to readers the realities of war. He is the recipient of the Bronze Star and Purple Heart, and holds a master's from the Graduate School for Public and International Affairs at the University of Pittsburgh.
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